Your Body

March 7, 2018

Hey girl. Are you eating right, werking it out at the gym and taking good care of your body? High-fives for you! But there is one more thing you can do to improve your health…

An orgasm a day (or two, who’s counting?) may not be entirely enough to keep the doctor away, but it does offer some fantastic health benefits. Plus, you know – orgasms are pretty rad, so who doesn’t want more of them?

#AllTheOrgasms Can…

Help Relieve Stress

This one is pretty well known, and for good reason. When you orgasm, your brain releases oxytocin – the pleasure hormone – which relieves tension and stimulates feelings of warmth and relaxation.

Protect You From the Common Cold

Regular sex has been linked to the production of higher levels of antibody immunoglobin A, which boosts and immune system.

Help You Sleep

Finding it tricky to turn your brain off at night? Researchers suggest the release of neurochemicals like endorphins can have a sedative effect, so if you’re struggling with insomnia, an orgasm may help you catch some much-needed Zs.

Alleviate Pain

If you have a headache, turning down an evening of passionate lovemaking with your partner might not be the best move. Those feel-good endorphins and oxytocin also have pain-relieving qualities, which can help ease headaches, menstrual cramps and other discomforts.

Help Cure the Blues

Sex hormones have been shown to help lower rates of depression and anxiety, making them great for your mental health. Thank you endorphins!

Help Tone Up Your Pelvic Floor

The big O uses the pubocoxygeal muscle, the same muscle you need to use to stay continent. Rubbin’ one out can actually help stop incontinence by activating your pelvic floor!

Make You Smarter

Okay, smarter might be a bit of a stretch, but orgasms have been proven (through studies where female subjects had their brains monitored by an MRI machine while masturbating) to increase blood flow and the delivery of oxygen and nutrients to all parts of the brain.

Make You Look Younger

Again, a stretch, but the science is there to support this claim! A British psychologist spent a decade researching the effect of sex on people’s appearance, and claimed those participants who had more orgasms looked younger. His theory is supported by the fact that sex releases the human growth hormone;  DHEA (Dehydroepiandrosterone), which helps to make skin look more elastic.

Seriously. Go get some.

Originally published on March 24, 2014.



December 1, 2016

Sex in the first trimester Is It Safe?

As a sexologist I’m very often asked about the safety of having sex during pregnancy – well here’s the good news – doing the nasty when you’ve got a bun in the oven is not only hot, it’s perfectly safe.  If you feel well and sexy – it’s a jolly good idea to have a roll in the hay.

Penetrative sex and orgasm during the first trimester are not linked to miscarriage or vaginal infections. Indeed, in a low risk, uncomplicated pregnancy getting juicy will actually reduce the risk of miscarriage and premature birth, by decreasing stress and enhancing emotional well being.

Often you and your partner(s) will worry that the baby will be harmed whilst you bump and grind – but don’t worry your unborn babe is well cushioned by the amniotic sac and the strong uterine muscles.  A penis (even one of porn star proportions – you lucky lady you!) or toy  will not penetrate deep enough to get past the muscles of the cervix, which is sealed up with a thick, mucous plug to keep out any nasties.

Changes to Your Mojo

However, it is important to be aware that during pregnancy there may be wide variations in you and your partner(s) sexual arousal, desire and response. For some pregnant women desire and intimacy may be affected in the first trimester by body image concerns, nausea, fatigue, urgency to urinate, anxiety and hormonal fluctuations.  For others these hormonal changes and lack of concerns about contraception can make them randier than a jack rabbit in a barrel full of jellied eels.

Follen Swanny and Tender Tits

There can be physiological changes that occur during pregnancy that may have you begging for more or closing the bedroom door. For instance, during pregnancy sex can cause genital engorgement (the classic Two Ronnies’ follen swanny), where you may experience heightened sensations that have you screaming YES!YES!YES! at the slightest touch of your sensitive clitoris or screaming NO!NO!NO! if anyone so much as breaths on it.  Not only can your clitoris become more sensitive, but so can your  breasts and nipples – and you partner(s) may tread a fine (and dangerous) line between  pleasure and pain.

Horny Hormones

Bonding, sexual pleasure and orgasm will also release hormones (prostaglandins and oxytocins) that can cause abdominal tightenings or hardenings of the uterus, which although perfectly normal can be a cause of concern for some. However, this is a perfectly normal response and these hormones can be both good for you and your baby – you’ll all be feeling the luuurvve.

Communicate, Communicate and Communicate

However, it’s very important  to listen to your body  – communicate and be open and honest with your partner(s) at this time. It may be that you control penetration and depth/vigour of thrusting or try new positions that are more comfortable, such as lying sideways, being positioned on the edge of the bed with your partner between your legs, spooning, sitting on their lap or being on top. Non-penetrative sex or ‘outercourse‘ may be more suitable or pleasurable at this time (foreplay, oral sex and masturbation). And don’t forget there are so many other ways to be intimate – ‘togetherness’ and mutual reassurance can be maintained through time spent together, cuddling, massage, a relaxing bath or shower, a shared walk, meal or movie night together.

You partner(s) va-va voom may also not be firing up for them during pregnancy if they are fearful of hurting you or the baby, worried about your health or that of the unborn’s, apprehensive about parenthood and its financial burdens or even self-conscious about getting down and dirty in the presence of the bump.  It’s just as important at this time for them to communicate their needs, desires and wants about intimacy.

Bans on Bonking

Obviously, there are times when doing the two-backed beast may not be recommended. Here are a few:

  • If your partner(s) has an active genital herpes lesion
  • If you have a low lying placenta or the placenta is partially/fully covering the cervix (placenta previa)
  • If you have a cervical dysfunction , weakness or it is opening prematurely
  • If you have a history of premature/pre-term labour
  • If you are experiencing unexplained vaginal bleeding
  • If you are experiencing moderate/ severe abdominal cramping
  • If you have a history of miscarriage and having sex would cause you distress or worry
  • If you are carrying multiple babies and have been advised against sex by your caregiver
  • If your waters (amniotic fluid) are leaking or have broken


Safer Sex – And Some Thoughts on Anal and Oral

Even when pregnant there are times when condoms/dental dams should still be used:

  • If your partner(s) have an STI (especially herpes)
  • If you are not in a mutually monogamous relationship
  • If you have a new partner and do not know their STI status
  • If you have a vaginal infection (e.g. thrush)Care should also be taken when engaging in oral sex in that there should be no blowing in the vagina during pregnancy (but seriously who does that?! – no judgement, but you may want to perfect your techniques).

There should also be an awareness of the attending risks that come with anal sex – just like at any other time a penis/toy/fingers should not be placed into the anus and then into the vagina as this may cause a vaginal infection. Also during pregnancy some women are prone to developing haemorrhoids, which can be painful, bleed or rupture during anal penetration- so you may want to abstain from engaging in ‘up the bum’ fun during this time.



Image credit: Mitrofan

November 29, 2016

So you’ve been scratching your head for months now, wondering just what the @#7*! is this ‘core’ that your hot, bouncy Pilates instructor has been enthusing about …so buckle up kids and let’s find out a little bit more about the pelvic floor! Your pelvic floor (PF) is the group of muscles that supports your spine, bladder and bowel and, for women, it also holds in some important lady bits, like the uterus (womb). That’s right; both men and women have a big, fat PF. Awesome!

But, what’s even more awesome about your PF, is that if you spend time maintaining and developing that area, not only is it important to your body alignment , ‘structural integrity’ (captain) and ability to hold your wee,  but it can also lead to some mind blowing orgasms! Now we’re talking.

A good PF can boost sexual sensations, improve men’s erectile function (help you get it up and keep it up) and give you greater orgasmic control, potential and strength.  Wow!

So, now I have your attention, what’s the key to a PF as taut and supple as that trampoline that post-natal mums eye off so nervously??

It’s simple. Get your Kegels on and boost that booty!

Kick It With The Kegels

You’ve probably heard of Kegels or pelvic floor exercises, but are unsure about how to do them.  Here’s a simple how-to:

1)      Find your PF muscles.

This is easy and you should only need to do it the once. Go for a wee and stop your pee mid- flow.  Ta-da! You’ve just used your PF muscles.

(Don’t make a habit of using your PF muscles to stop your wee though, as this can weaken you PF and even cause infections)

2)      Now squeeze. And hold. Then reeelease.

Squeeze those PF muscles you’ve just identified, hold them and then release. Make sure you release all the way. Oh and breeeeatthhheeee.

3)      Repeat.

If you’re still unsure go and see a physiotherapist and they will help you to identify and exercise those pesky PF’s in no time at all.

There are also all sorts of devices that can help out too.

Boost Your Booty

If you’re going to work on the pelvic floor you are also going to have to work on your butt! And who doesn’t love a pert behind?  Strong glutes (butt muscles) will stretch the PF from a dilapidated hammock to a springy-sproingy trampoline of luuurrrveee.

Here’s how:

1)      Squat.

The squat is just about the most natural way to plump those pillows. Just check out any toddler and watch them get down to it, voila, there you have it – the most prefect squat position. No need for any fancy pants gym equipment or weights.  And as an added sexy bonus, squatting opens up the hips and groin too – awesome for that weekend Karma Sutra ‘sesh’ of spine-tingling, pretzel-like sex positions you’ve got planned!

2)      Stair climbing.

Skip the lift and take the stairs..and boost your bedroom bliss!

3)      Walk.

Walk tall and walk proud, you’re working your way towards that stronger, harder butt and orgasm.


Need more specific help? Check out our article “How To Activate Your Pelvic Floor Properly” 

November 21, 2016

Fire In Your Loins

Hopefully when we talk about the fire in our loins we are referring to the heat of our sexual fervour. But for some the flames of desire are being dampened by a burning that has nothing to do with smouldering passions.

The fire in your loins can become something very different to the heat of sexual passion.

Vaginal pain (Colpalgia) or vulval pain (Vulvodynia) can lead to some unpleasant bedroom experiences, such as the “Jesus, hell fire, where do you think you are going with that ?!!” type of  painful penetrative intercourse (Dyspareunia).  The pain can be caused by penile/finger/toy entry into the opening of the vagina or ‘deep’ thrusting during intercourse. It can be an aching, burning, stinging or throbbing sensation.

Suffering In Silence

 Unfortunately it’s very difficult to estimate the prevalence of dyspareunia within the general population because most women that experience it do not report it; they literally grin and bare it (a.k.a.  The ‘lay back and think of England’ approach) or simply abstain from any of ‘that sort of thing’. But what we do know is that for the 10-20% of women that do experience pain in the vajayjay, it can have a devastating impact upon their relationships and quality of life. Nobody likes it when our beaver is bothered.

Why Your Foo-Foo May No Longer Be Your Friend

There is usually an underlying medical condition for vulval or vaginal pain and it may even be associated with psychological issues (depression, issues with sexual identity or previous trauma). However, just to be clear I’m going to flagrantly capitalise – POONANI PAIN IS NOT ALL IN YOUR HEAD!!!!

There are many reasons that your foo-foo may not be feeling too jiggy:

  • Insufficient lube

When the love juices aren’t flowing, or haven’t had enough time to get going, then pain can be created during intercourse.

Vaginal dryness can also be caused by certain medications, such as anti-depressants, anti-histamines, high blood pressure medications, sedatives and some birth control pills.

Vaginal atrophy (when your vaginal walls thin and become inflamed because of low oestrogen in your body) is another cause of your chuff experiencing desert like aridity. This can occur during menopause or when breastfeeding. Also unlike its name suggests,  vaginal atrophy does not mean the old girl has packed her bags and is leaving for good, there is still light at the end for this tunnel.

  • Vaginitis (inflammation of the vagina), which is caused by an irritation or infection. The common symptoms of Vaginitis are vaginal discharge, itching, redness, swelling and pain.

Your lady bits are sensitive little beasts and they may become inflamed or react to antibiotics or other medications, scented ‘hygiene’ or menstrual products, tight clothing, condoms, spermicides, lubricants or even semen. Yep, she’s that fussy – and why shouldn’t she be??

Anyone that encourages you to douche your little flower with natural flora and fauna napalming, pH unbalancing chemicals and perfumes is, well, a douche.  Treat your beast with care.

Infections such as vaginal candidiasis (a yeast infection, commonly called ‘thrush’), Bacterial Vaginosis (BV) and trichomoniasis (‘Trich’) can also be the cause of vaginitis.

  • Hormonal changes

As mentioned before our poonanis are pretty delicate flowers – hormonal imbalances or changes (e.g. during puberty, menstruation, pregnancy, postpartum, breastfeeding, menopause – jeez pretty much every life cycle milestone) can lead to sensitivity.

  • Previous trauma or surgery

Nerve damage can occur during various activities where our beaver may have taken a bit of a bashing, such as cycling, horse-riding, aggressive or rough penetrative intercourse or during childbirth.  Genital surgery can also be the cause of chronic or recurrent pain.

A previous history of sexual abuse may have its physical and psychological aftermath for the survivor.  It’s important to recognise that a sexual problem is often more than just examining the physical body part. We are more than a sum of body parts. In order to get to the root of vulval pain we may have to look at the body, its parts and the feelings and emotions connected to them.

  • Abnormal growths or cysts

How Your Honey Pot Can Heal

Sexual pain can impact upon your current relationship or prevent you from engaging in a new one – it can have detrimental effects upon our sense of self, how we feel about our body and sexuality and even our self-esteem and confidence.

In some cases dyspareunia can lead to vaginismus, where the body and subconscious mind anticipates pain and will tighten the pelvic floor or cause muscular spasms to resist intercourse.  So doing something about your poonani pain can be very important, before further issues arise.

We all deserve to have a rich and pleasurable sexual life, so if we choose to engage in penetrative sex, with our partner (s), ourselves or our toys there are treatments that can help manage the pain.


  • Engage in plenty of foreplay and outercourse
  • Ensure you are at a high level of personal arousal before engaging in penetrative intercourse
  • Try ladies-on-top positions and guide in any fingers, toys or penises
  • Communicate with your lover(s) about your level of comfort
  • Use plenty of an organic, water-based personal lubricant and moisturiser when engaging in some love play (e.g. Yes!)
  • Rinse the area in cool water, particularly after urination or sex
  • Soak in a bath
  • Apply icepacks wrapped in towels, cool compresses or use heat pads (just not too hot!!)
  • Use unscented tissues and body products
  • Wear organic bamboo or cotton underwear
  • Avoid tight fitting clothes or underwear
  • Avoid pools/tubs or spas with heavily chlorinated water
  • Keep your vulvar clean and dry (i.e. when wiping after the toilet wipe from front to back)
  • Maintain a healthy diet and keep your gut happy with plenty of pre and probiotics

Professional  Poonani Pampering

Seeking help from a range of professionals (gynaecologists, physiotherapists, sexual health professional and sex therapists) can be very beneficial and your twinkle with thank you.

Counselling and sex therapy will incorporate assessment, education, goal setting, and relaxation techniques, identify underlying personal or relationship issues and offer you the necessary tools to resolve these issues. They may give you homework exercises too so that you can hone your skills in the privacy of your own home.

 – Physiotherapists specialised in women’s sexual health can perform a full examination, including musculoskeletal, vulval and pelvic floor examinations. They can offer therapy that is both hands on (e.g. trigger point massage in the pelvic area and transvaginally or using biofeedback) and educational (e.g. teaching you to engage and relax your pelvic muscles).

– Health care professionals (GP’s, gynaecologists, and sexual health practitioners) can rule out any underlying infections or health issues. They can also prescribe medications such as anti-fungals, local anaesthetics, oestrogen creams, antidepressants or nerve blockers. They even may refer you to a surgeon if a more radical approach as a last resort is required.

Alternative health care professionals (acupuncturist, naturopath) can offer treatment or advice that compliments more traditional approaches.

Image credit: © Sergey Nivens –

September 14, 2016

My babies and pregnancy changed my body forever. Physically, spiritually, and oh did I mention physically?

I gained nearly 35kg in my first pregnancy. I felt enormous, I was enormous, and that was perfectly OK because it was a delightful, healthy pregnancy that produced a delightful healthy baby.

But once that baby was birthed, and in my arms I was so shocked to discover that I still sported a sizeable belly. (and cankles that were out of this world!)

Snap Back, Bounce Back To Your Pre-Baby Shape…

As a youngish mother I felt a lot of pressure to “snap back” to my pre pregnancy state – and as soon as I had the OK from my doctor, I started playing badminton and exercising as much as I could.

I had the voice of a very loved family member in my ear “I didn’t want to have a pot belly at 29, so I did 50 sit-ups a day”  and that pressure to not be the “fat mum” was overwhelming.

My body never snapped back though. It shrunk, but the marks of pregnancy remained…. a tiny abdominal separation that I wouldn’t become aware of for another 2 babies, and a squishy belly stay behind, to remind me of a belly that once held a 3kg baby.

My body never snapped back though. 

Baby #2 - Toned, fit, healthy, even tanned!
#2 – Toned, fit, healthy, even tanned! and check out those stretch marks!

The next pregnancy I was determined not to gain as much weight, and I continued playing badminton (with my doctor’s OK) through the pregnancy. I was strong, healthy, fit, and toned. I had a glorious home birth, and my 4.5kg babe made his way into the world with ease.Baby

My body was now slightly more marked, slightly more squishy around the belly…. and the pressure to “snap back” a little further was still there.

Baby number 3 blessed us with an intense pregnancy, during which I was ill, and gained a fair bit of girth (this time I didn’t weigh myself) We faced some intense challenges during the pregnancy, and after a stressful gestation, I finally gave birth to a perfect little boy, who was all of 5kg….It took well over 10 months to get back to a pre-baby jeans size, but my body bore the marks of three pregnancies.

It took well over 10 months to get back to a pre-baby jeans size, but my body bore the marks of three pregnancies.

I went to see a woman who created handmade dresses, and she looked at my soft tummy and stretch marks and said “YOU ARE TOO YOUNG FOR THIS… YOU GAINED TOO MUCH WEIGHT” I took the dress that she created for me (that looked incredible I might add) and sobbed the whole way home.

My body was ruined.

My body was scarred.

I was fat.

I was worthless. I was hideous.

But…. I wasn’t…..

As I pulled into my drive at home I realised that the person with the issues was perhaps the dress maker. And that no matter what marks, and squishy bits and scars I bore – my body had achieved incredible things.

Baby 4 - zero foxes given
Baby 4 – zero foxes given

I found love, and I found positivity in the new curves, the softer belly and breasts, and I made a conscious effort to fall in love with my body all over again.

By the time baby number four quite literally fell into the world, I was SO in love with my body that I never weighed myself. I didn’t have pre-pregnancy jeans, I had delightful skirts that made me feel like a goddess.

I didn’t care that leggings weren’t pants, they made me feel GREAT, so I wore them.

I celebrated my body,  I gave myself time to heal afterwards. It honestly has taken nearly 4 years to rebuild strength, confidence, and continence (gasp) but taking that time and giving myself the space has been so worth it.

Now, I run, I lift, I rest and I truly care for my body.



Copy of read our blog


I have this gorgeously supportive Facebook Group that I would love to join!

I wanted to invite you to join my free Facebook group called Polkadotsi Body Love. It’s all about helping women who struggle withloving their bodies and who want to wake up every day, look in the mirror and feel gorgeeous!

Polkadotsi is an incredibly fun and uplifting community where you can fall head over heels in love with your body!!

If this sounds like something you think you would benefit from, you can request access to join here:  I’ll be waiting there to welcome you to the sparkliest corner of the web!


September 11, 2016

Do you need some inspiration to fall radically in love with yourself this year? Or do you need some myth busting bad ass science to smash through the woo?

These pages utterly ROCK and in this sparkly corner of the web we are happy to tell you why!

The Militant Baker

Jes Baker the brains behind the Militant Baker is one of my favourite voices in the BodPos movement! Jes is a one woman revolution for body positivity!

The Fourth Trimester 

Viewing post partum bodies as beautiful? YES please! I’d love to see more of that!! Check out the stunning photography and gorgeous BodPos message!

The Moderation Movement

The Moderation Movement would have to be up there in my top 3 favourite pages. Run by Australian dietitian Zoe Nicholson and Jodie Arnot, the Moderation Movement promotes evidence based nutrition, which we totally support here at Polkadotsi!

A Healthy Paradigm

Promoting the Healthy at any size message, this page is worth a follow! Another Australian page in the BodPos movement too, so that’s a big win for us down under!

Fuck Yeah Body Positivity!

Need I say more? This page is all about reclaiming the parts of our bodies that society has deemed unacceptable! Oh yeah!

March 22, 2016



Hello there beautiful sparkly one! I know you are here because you want to love your body more, and you know what? Exercise is RAD for that! Following on from our How To Choose A Gym article, we wanted to offer you a guide on how to find a body positive personal trainer!

If you’re going down the path of finding a personal trainer you DESERVE to have one who supports your goals and makes you feel amazing as you achieve them.

Let’s talk about how  to choose a body positive personal trainer!

The most important thing you can do when shopping for a personal trainer is to ask questions. Set your goals and intentions before you start, write them down, and have them ready to chat about.


Anyone taking personal training or group classes should have their certificate III or certificate IV in fitness, or the international equivalent.
Anyone taking pregnant/post natal, or in my opinion anything to do with women should have some further qualifications in pelvic health. Given that many common ‘bootcamp’ exercises aren’t suitable for women recovering from childbirth, or women who have any pelvic floor issues, it’s really important to choose someone who is aware of your body and your limitations.


Does your trainer sound like they are in alignment with your body positivity?

Are they wearing a “What’s your excuse?” tank? Or are they wearing “Move it, Love it, Do It emblazoned on their workout gear?

Does their marketing scream at you to get a bikini body? Or is it telling you to Sweat it Sista?

And most importantly, speak to them! Get a feel for their attitude and approach to bodies and fitness.

If it’s all about weight loss, run don’t walk! Anyone can take you through a punishing workout and leave you feeling spent, sore and exhausted – but it takes a truly good trainer to push you to your limits, and leave you feeling strong and wanting more.



Did you know that personal trainers can undertake extra study? Did you know that as part of their professional development and to maintain their insurance they HAVE to take extra study?

There are loads of specialities out there, like training mobility limited people, and post-natal recovery, and even taking classes for pregnant women.

If you have a special requirement, make sure you ask.


One of the best pieces of advice I learnt was to “refer refer refer”. Whenever I meet a client that I know I am not qualified to help, I was told to refer.

Amazing trainers know that not everyone is their client, and the good ones are most happy to recommend you to someone more suitable.

Amazing personal trainers don’t push non-evidence based woo… They don’t moonlight as nutritionists unless they are qualified to do so,  and even then, they aren’t dieticians….

Amazing body positive personal trainers will help you find someone to achieve your goals, and will make you feel uplifted, supported, and incredible along the journey.

They will motivate you, push you when you need it, and encourage you to fall in love with your body!

How to choose a body positive personal trainer










Photo credit:


August 22, 2015

I’m a mum of four little boys. Sometimes getting to the gym or even getting out for a run is completely impractical.

When I first started running, I’d go out at night, when my hubby got home. He has a membership to a 24 hour gym, and keeps odd hours so that works for him.

Sometimes though, I’m just housebound – and considering that exercise is my biggest tool for keeping mentally healthy, I use a few tools for sweating it out at home.

I use YouTube to find HIIT workouts to move my butt to. I love variety in my routine, and youtube offers a virtual smorgasbord!

Here are a couple of my favorites!

The Dark Horse Workout (BURN BABY!)


Fitness Blenders 100 Burpees

Me after a PT in my Pocket workout!
Me after a HIIT Workotu

I also have a few key pieces of equipment at home that I love. My weighted skipping rope. A set of kettle-bells, and a few (slightly stinky) yoga mats that I use regularly.

I like to make sure I do a mix of workouts, to keep my exercise fun, engaging, and something that I look forward to doing.

Just because I can’t always get to the gym doesn’t mean I can’t sweat it out. Basically any body weight workouts are brilliant, and stuff that I can do around the kids!



Are you in the sparkliest group on the web? Join Polkadotsi’s Body Love Forum on Facebook today!



today (1) . .

August 18, 2015

Did you know that according to Eating Disorders Victoria, dieting is the single most important risk factor for developing an eating disorder. Girls who diet moderately are 5 times more likely to develop an eating disorder than those who don’t diet, and those who diet severely are 18 times more likely.

Cleanse/Detox/Juicing companies Need You to Fail

There are  companies who MAKE MONEY out of you feeling inadequate. They make money out of you taking up as little space as possible. They don’t care that you’re generous, loving, kind, amazing, wonderful, thoughtful, proactive… or whatever amazing qualities you possess- to them you are an open wallet, and as long as you look in that mirror and see anything other than the beautiful creation you are-  they keep making money.

They NEED you to feel fat. They NEED you to fail.


Which is why here at Polkadotsi we call BULLSH*T on the companies and businesses who encourage such unscientific trends.

What’s Wrong With Juice Cleansing?

The marketing behind juice cleanses varies from company to company but some of the claims are:

  1. Juice rids your body of toxins – Nope…. that would be your liver and kidneys… (And they don’t need juice to function, thank you very much!
  2. Juice is more nutrient dense than whole foods…. Nope…. WTF?
  3. Juice allows you to absorb micro nutrients – again BUllFloP!  (that’s a technical term by the way)
  4. Juice helps you lose weight – any diet that creates a calorie deficit will do this, but that doesn’t mean it’s good for you.
  5. Juice is healthier than the whole fruit/veg – nope, juice cuts out the fiber of fruit and veg, leaving you with mostly sugar and water.
  6. Juices sweep the colon – nope, it’s more efficient to poop on whole fruit and veg with the FIBER left in
  7. Juices purify the blood – no, just no…. no. with a capital NO.

Schkinny Mahinny markets 5-7 day juice cleanses and tiptoes around any concrete benefits with words like “could” or “may” or “might”…. or “Most people”
None of the claims are backed by science, and nearly ALL of them are condemned by doctors.

  • It could boost your immune system [bollocks]
  • It may alleviate allergies to food and help you eliminate from your diet  [bollocks]
  • It can provides rest for your digestive organs  [bollocks]  [bollocks]  [bollocks]
  • It can promotes clear glowing skin and bright white eyes  [bollocks]
  • It may help to increase energy levels  [bollocks]
  • It may increase your chances of becoming pregnant  [bollocks]
  • It may help your body to combat viruses  [bollocks]

Feeling clean on the inside means looking great on the outside, and 100 times more motivation to keep yourself feeling clean inside [bollocks]schkinny machinny [my  [bollocks]]

Juice cleanse? [bollocks]

You can’t detox your body on juice – your liver, kidneys, and intestines do that just fine.

You are better off eating whole fruit and vegetables as part of a moderate balanced diet, than consuming juice which basically leaves you the sugar and strips you of all the fiber from the fruit and veg.

And while you might initially drop some weight, by forcing your body into starvation mode you are very likely just to pile those kilos right back on once you finish your expensive sugar water.

Sugar free and “Clean” Eating

A favorite bug bear of mine is “sugar free” or particularly “clean” sugar free, which is marketing-ese for “we have filled your treat with other sweeteners, but they’re not those scary artificial ones”

Firstly food isn’t clean or dirty it’s just food. (My children take this quite literally. Food left on the ground isn’t even dirty)

Replacing cane sugar with a sweetener like honey or maple syrup, or agave nectar doesn’t really change the calories in your cake. You’re not eating anything cleaner, you’re still just eating cake. Sorry. #sorrynotsorry

Eating anything in excess is obviously a bad idea and this certainly applies to sugar – but you’re not doing your body any favors by replacing it with other high glycemic ind alternatives. If you’re diabetic – this is dangerous!!

Food is just food, and the approach we encourage at Polkadotsi is

“Eat all things in moderation. Mostly plants”

Fitness magazines LOVE including “sugar free” or “Guilt free” cake recipes.

Firstly we call bollocks because you shouldn’t feel guilty about food-  don’t give it power. It’s just FOOD.

Secondly we call bollocks because quite frankly, they are leveraging a trend to gain  your precious clicks.



clean food
Your brownful isn’t sinful. It’s just a brownie.

Detoxing Pretoxing and Schmetoxing

You cannot detox. You cannot detox. Did I mention that you cannot detox – or to be more specific your delightful body, a product of millions of years of evolution does the detoxing thing all by itself!

You have magnificent kidneys, a liver, and intestines that deal with all of your bodily waste. You don’t have a build up of mucoid plaque – that’s marketing-ese for “derrrrrrrp”

Every time you take a poop, you’re detoxing.

So it is with great pleasure that I liberally apply my BS stamp to THIS lovely article… because you don’t need to detox your liver.

Detox, pretox, schmetox [bollocks]
Detox, pretox, schmetox [bollocks]
Detoxing can be dangerous – and at best has incredibly unpleasant side effects – dizziness, lethargia, nausea, and crankiness to name a few.

But all you’re doing is forcing your body into starvation mode, telling it to store what it has – because it thinks you’re in for a long, cold, food-less winter.

You can achieve the same effects (i.e. a massive poop) with a laxative pill – but we’re not recommending that without good reason, and the guidance of your general practitioner.

In short – your body is fierce, and you don’t need this BULLSH*T


Photo credit: TipsTimesAdmin

August 13, 2015

Hello glorious, sparkly being! If you’re here, I’m betting it’s because you’ve got a bit of wobble on your glorious ass, and you’re concerned about it.

Here’s the thing, firstly nearly everyone has cellulite, we’re just told that it’s the bane of obesity, and that’s bollocks!

Pick up nearly any beauty magazine and you will find a miracle 7 step plan to banning cellulite. Some are even audacious enough to try and  tell you that cellulite is due to toxins, or gluten, or even a lack of colonics….

Let’s bust through some of that bullshit and talk about the cottage cheese dimples that inhabit even the slimmest of humans. Here’s a bunch of cellulite facts for you!

The Facts


1 – Cellulite is basically fat that has pushed through the collagen in your skin. That’s it. Kind of like when you push your flesh through fishnet stockings to get a dimple effect. The collagen is the fishnet…

2 – Both Women and Men have cellulite – the wibbly wobblies aren’t limited  to those of us who possess a lady garden (#sorrynotsorry) men can rock the cottage cheese thighs too. Women tend to carry more fat on their thighs and  stomach – which is why we tend to have more cellulite.

3 –  As you lose collagen, cellulite can appear more visible. Hormones, ageing, lack of muscle tone and higher body fat all cause cellulite to be more visible.

4 – Exercise can reduce the appearance of cellulite – with strength and HIIT exercises proving to be the most effective, mostly because they are the most efficient at fat burning and muscle growth.

5 – Even fitness models have cellulite, but we don’t see it in magazines because they air brush the shit out of those images!

Cool magool, OK so cellulite is fat, wibbly, wobbly, dimply fat. Pretty straight forward right?

Like any type of fat, you might have  fat, but you aren’t defined by it.

Just like you have hair, and you’re not hair. You have fingernails and you’re not fingernails – fat is just fat.

The body love approach:

Dear one, I wish you could fall so radically in love with your curves and bumps that you don’t even use the C-Word! Let me assure you that you are goddess, worthy of your own attention and love!

This body has got you so far already, and to be honest, the fitspo/weight loss industry/  is NOT worthy of your time and money. They exist solely to make you feel inadequate.

Don’t buy into that crap, sparkly one YOU ARE MORE POWERFUL!

Frankly, you can’t do much about the wibbly wobblies, but here are a few strategies

If cellulite is something  that actually upsets you, you have a few options available to you:

  1. Learn to embrace and love your rocking bod with ALL of its features!
  2. Consider cosmetic treatments – some have been proven to visibly reduce the appearance of cellulite.
  3. Maintain a healthy body with a moderate diet and exercise plan (Always do this under the guidance of your doctor and a registered dietician)

You’ve got your body for an entire lifetime, you might as well love being in your skin!


Photo credit: viewthedr