I have to pre-empt this post by admitting that I was a huge Sex and the City fan when it first screened on TV. I own a box set, and will still linger on an episode if I’m channel-flicking and come across a rerun. However, as I’ve gotten older and (I hope) a little wiser, I’ve found some of the myths SATC perpetuates about sex and relationships actually really irk me. Here are my Top 5.
Single life Sucks
The Myth: Apart from Samantha, who was painted as being all-but relationship phobic, all of the other key players in SATC basically bemoan single life whenever they’re not in relationships.
The Truth: Being single can be the best time of your life. You’re free to do whatever you want, without having to factor in the needs and feelings of a significant other.
Trying to Change Your Lover Can Result in a Happy Ending
The Myth: You might not be able to change a man – but you should go ahead and try anyway. Case in point, Carrie and Mr Big. Let’s face it – he may be dashing in a tall, dark and handsome kind of way, but Big was basically an emotional retard who treated Carrie like crap. And what’s Carrie’s happy ending? She marries him. Um… Yeah.
The Truth: The real truth is that people change all the time. You’re not the same person you were five years ago – or maybe even last year. We’re all capable of change, but that doesn’t meaning trying to change the person you love is ever going to do either of you any good. They can end up feeling ‘less than’ and resenting you for it. And you might find changing them stops them from being the person you were attracted to in the first place. Proceed with caution.
If You Break Up, You’ll Need to Wallow for X Weeks/ Months/ Years
The Myth: It takes half of the duration of a relationship to get over a breakup. Although I’m pretty sure it was Charlotte who came up with this rule, and did we ever really give much credibility to her thoughts on dating?
The Truth: You’ll get over your breakup when you’re good and ready. In some cases, you’ll be waving a genuine good riddance to them as soon as they’re out of your life. In other instances, you might still feel panicked if you see them tagged in a photo on Facebook years later. Be kind to yourself, and go at your own pace, lady.
Small Dicks and Impotence are Deal-Breakers
The Myth: If a guy has a small dick or can’t get it up your relationship is doomed. Don’t bother with counseling or communication or other forms of intimacy.
The Truth: Sure, a big hard dick can be an asset when it comes to your sex life, but it’s not the be all and end all. There are plenty of couples that get along just fine – and even thrive – turning to alternative forms of intimacy and stimulation to have satisfying sex lives. And size isn’t everything. As a friend of mine was fond of saying in high school… it’s the motion of the ocean that really counts.
You Should Forgive Your Partner for Anything If They’re THE ONE
The Myth: If your soul mate leaves you hanging for a decade, marries someone else, comes back to you, leaves again, proposes, leaves you at the alter, and then makes you live your dreams a little smaller so they can deal, it’s all okay as long as they’re The One.
The Truth: Forgiveness is a crucial component in any relationship, but being able to forgive doesn’t mean walking around with your hands over your eyes because you have unquestionable faith that this is the person you’re supposed to end up with. If there is such a thing as soul mates, you can probably have many of them – just consider the friends you’ve met over the years whom you’ve instantly clicked with, or the fact that you may have experienced BIG love more than once already in your lifetime. The only unquestionable ONE in your relationship is you. Put your own happiness and the rest will follow.
What SATC myth irks you most? Share it with us in the comments!