50 of the Different Types of Sex I’ve Had Over the Past 13 Years

Chloe Pedley Feb 14, 2014 0 comments 1

When it comes to sex, we can sometimes be a little obsessed with whether the sex we’re having is good or bad. Is it satisfying or disappointing? Are we having it for the right reasons? With the right people? Under the right circumstances?

Sure, these can be important questions. Sometimes. But all that analysis and navel gazing can be exhausting, right?

The thing is, we have sex for all sorts of different reasons. Some of them are emotional, some are physical, some are procreational, some are recreational, some are psychological, some are instinctual, and some leave us scratching our own heads afterwards. So, in my opinion at least, simplifying all that sex down as either ‘good’ or ‘bad’ just doesn’t really do it – or ourselves – justice.

Sometimes sex is good and sometimes it’s bad. And sometimes it’s neither and sometimes it’s both. When we focus on categorizing and compartmentalizing our experiences, we buy into normative ideals about what sex should be - especially as those ideals relate to female sexuality. I say, fuck that. Stop labelling the sex you're having, embrace your whole sexuality, and do what makes you happy.

I did the math this week and realized my sex life is almost teenager (frightening, as I am still in denial about my impending 30s), so in honor of this, and to illustrate that sometimes sex is neither/both good/bad, I’ve come up with a list of some of the different types of sex I’ve experienced at some time or other over the past 13 years.

  1. I really just want to see what the big fucking deal is sex
  2. I like you sex
  3. Will you like me if we have sex sex
  4. Best friend’s couch sex
  5. You’re not Mr Right, but you’ll do for right now sex
  6. Grass in your knickers sex
  7. Revenge sex
  8. Hood of a car sex
  9. I’m sorry sex
  10. Competing with the people in the tent next to us sex
  11. Cheating sex
  12. Guilt sex
  13. Break up sex
  14. Make up sex
  15. We are so in love sex
  16. So this is what that’s supposed to feel like sex
  17. Distracted by a mental to-do list sex
  18. Club dance floor sex
  19. We haven’t had sex in a week so I guess we should have sex sex
  20. Acrobatic, I’m so impressed with how bendy we both are right now, sex
  21. I know we’re kidding ourselves but let’s just do the casual sex thing sex
  22. Regret sex
  23. Shower sex
  24. Phone sex
  25. I don’t want to be the one to take your virginity so let’s just do oral sex sex
  26. Dirty, messy, drunken sex
  27. I can’t stand you as a person but I still want to have sex with you sex
  28. Holiday sex
  29. Super awkward car sex
  30. Moving out of home sex
  31. You made a huge fucking mistake and I’m going to show you why sex
  32. I haven’t seen you in six months and I’m suddenly all shy sex
  33. I’m pretty sure I’m not doing this right but I’ll just wait until he says something sex
  34. I thought multiple orgasms were a myth but thank God they’re not sex
  35. Stop trying to stick it there (you can’t slip that many times accidentally) sex
  36. Fine, we’ll try it sex
  37. How are we going to face the neighbors tomorrow sex
  38. I’m going to lay here like a corpse just to see if you notice sex
  39. Shhhh your parents are next door sex
  40. Drunken proposal sex
  41. I’m not even sure if we’re sexually compatible but I really like you so let’s just keep trying sex
  42. You are most magical person in the world and I never want to let you out of this room sex
  43. Let’s try and fix this with sex sex
  44. Grief and comfort sex
  45. Best friend sex
  46. OmigodOmigodOmigod sex
  47. Hungover, move as little as humanly possible sex
  48. Dreamy, half-asleep sex
  49. I feel fat, so if you try and take my tshirt off I will cut you sex
  50. AllTheOrgasms sex

What types of sex not included on my list have you had; good or bad or otherwise?

Chloe Pedley
Founder at Polkadotsi
Chloe is the founder of Polkadotsi, mother of four little boys, and wife and lover to a magnificent husband.
She's interested in all things sex and sexuality, and seeks to make a positive difference in the world by education.

Chloe is the founder of Polkadotsi, mother of four little boys, and wife and lover to a magnificent husband. She's interested in all things sex and sexuality, and seeks to make a positive difference in the world by education.